Hi all, thanks for all of your kind words. My wife never drank much before 2010, she never cheated, she was a devout catholic and I didn't know of any lies at that point. All of this started happening in 2010 and got worse as her disease progressed. I believe that alcoholism is a disease, but I also think it is a symptom of something else. For my wife it might be some mental disorder, I am not a therapist, but I know that her behavior is very odd.
Today we had a meeting with a therapist for our kids. The kids are doing OK. I had to sit in a waiting room with my wife for one hour. That is the most time I have spent with her in almost two months. One kid would go back at a time. While we were waiting the other kid would just sit in my lap or be totally involved with me. I just spent the last four days with them and they would rather sit with me. I don't encourage any of that but I am also not going to push them away from me. When we left my son begged me to go with them in my wife's car. I told him that I couldn't. He asked why. I told him that mommy would not let me. He asked if I could walk him to the car and my wife said no. He was hysterical crying and she just stands there. She is nuts.
I don't think she is drinking or taking drugs. I just think she is nuts.
In court I have asked for 100% custody. So has she. Apparently this is how it works in a high conflict divorce. Her DUI will matter. But so will my traveling for work. It is all so crazy. I do something responsible and that is bad. She does something completely irresponsible and it might be bad. The world is not fair.
Gotta go, I am hitting my 2nd Al Anon meeting in 35 minutes.
Thanks everyone for your kind words.