So sorry you and your husband are going through this. This isn't a situation with any easy answers or magic advice that will make everything OK.
Anvil is right, you are allowed to set boundaries about what goes on under your roof. No one here can tell you what your boundaries should be. All I can say is, you and your husband should be on the same page, presenting a united front. And also that the boundaries that are effective are going the be the ones that you two are willing and able to enforce consistently.
I do Alanon outreach work at the local rehab and I think that the parents have the toughest choices to make regarding their alcoholic or addicted loved ones.
Have you and your husband tried any Alanon meetings? Online support is good, but face to face meetings with other parents in your same situation would be a great help.
Big hugs to you.