Originally Posted by
daydreamer0217 
carmenlove, I think cheating and drinking go hand in hand also, I know people get mad when I say that, but I havent met an alcoholic who hasn't cheated.
I am an RA and I never cheated in any of my relationships. My XABF was many things (including abusive) but was not a cheat. My last relationship with someone who was neither an alcoholic nor abusive ended when I found out he had a hoochie on the side and had been cheating on me for quite some time. It was absolutely devastating for me.
Scubadad I am sorry for the situation
I also feel that you should try to get full custody of the kids. Her DUI not so long ago with your child in the car has to be documented somewhere and it is not about "fighting dirty" it is about ensuring the future safety of your kids.
She might not be drinking (although you never know and she might have switched to popping pills or whatever) but she is still acting out and obviously not stable and not willing to take a brutal honest look at herself and hold herself accountable for her actions.
Statistically, only 5-10% of alcoholics recover meaning that she has a high chance of drinking again.
I think it is good that you are carrying with you a video camera and I also hope that you document all the instances when you come into the house and there is no food or TP for the kids.
Hang in there.
PS: for anyone who wonder about my use of "hoochie":
a hoochie is someone who knows the man has a partner and does not care unlike the "other woman" who is just someone who got conned by the cheater and bought into his lies.