Originally Posted by
redatlanta 
Pay attention to red flags. In truth I do not know whether or not the surgeon is an addict or just a recreational user. More important is that he is abusive and he gave you plenty of red flags that night to find somewhere else to go. You mention he became increasingly aggressive and "in a rage" yet you went back to the hotel......mistake. Don't ever put yourself in a position where you can't make safe arrangements for yourself if need be for whatever reason. You should have gone to another hotel for the evening and left him to his own devices.
A common thread I see in your relationships is that these men buy you and you sound like you have "for sale" sign hanging around your neck. You seem to be very impressed by "things" as if that means someone feels more for you because they spend money on you. I don't know why you would have a conversation with this man after the fact to be offered another "purchase" in exchange for your company. How sad.
Your picker is broken. Go back and read all your threads. You excuse most of these mens behavior in one way or another often being sympathetic when its not deserved because they "need" you (i.e. the marrieds and this is a hallmark characteristic of codependency).
You would benefit greatly from the step program through Al Anon.
I didn't go back to the hotel to sleep. I went with two police officers to get my stuff. Then they drove me to the train and I went home. I was smart.
I am definitely slow to react and far too sympathetic. It's ridiculous. But when I do decide to react - watch out. I am clear-headed and strong.
I am not asking to be bought and there is no sign. I told the surgeon from the start that if I am spending time with him, it was cause I liked him. He was lovely for a good while there. Thoughtful, engaging, sensitive...I really, really liked him. Lots of guys here have money. I liked...him.
Whatever he was on that weekend brought things to light though. Another Jekyll and Hyde. You can't blame everyone for getting involved with addicts. Maybe some of us are unconsciously drawn to them. But maybe there are also so many, and especially among the separated/divorced. And it takes a while to really know someone. I am not dumping all of this on myself. I think I did okay there. I was responsible and I kept myself safe. I am proud of how I reacted.