That sounds terrifying. I am glad you made it out without something more serious happening to you.
While you negate wealth as being a motivating factor it seems to be the common denominator amongst all the men you have been involved with from XAH to the men you have dated while divorcing. You umbrella it under seeking intelligence in a mate, however; not all wealthy men are intelligent nor are all non-wealthy men stupid. I can assure you there are plenty of intelligent men out there that are adventurous with Mensa IQ that will keep you entertained. They just won't be able to take you on luxury ski trips and offer rental of ski chalets for a month.
I think you know the problem here is you. You are attracted to an alcoholic/addict personality - the impulsivity and charisma. The money seals the deal.
I am sharing this because I was stupid and believed that 1) career and background would make addiction less likely; 2) I could enjoy the moment without getting attached/hurt by someone; 3) I could get through to another addict because of all that I'd learned here/from Al-Anon/life.
That ^^^ tells me you haven't focused on your co-dependency issues at all. I highly recommend you start working on them lest you end up married or deeply involved with XAH redux.