I used to really really really like to be intoxicated. Did it so many times and for so long that it broke things in me, cracked my spirit/soul was probably starting to crack my body. It had long before stopped being enjoyable,"it" being all that goes with it and the 'enjoyment' was only the feeling of falling into oblivion, so not much in wanting to feel alive and present.
Weird thing is I think I could probably try the fireball even just once, but I dont want to be drunk(dwtbd) so I'm not going to find out , for sure.