Originally Posted by
MissUs2015 
Thank you. We're going to counseling tomorrow. My goal is to transition toward being work/life friends (since we have to see each other) or save the relationship. The latter would entail some uncomfortable recovery involving not just him but his family. I don't know that this would happen.
Immediate term, I don't care to see his mom but she keeps asking through him if I will be present for her glut of social occasions (birthdays, anniversaries,m/d day) she orchestrates from now through mid-June. I don't see participating in any of that right now-- but I don't want that (or that I don't like her) to be the focus of discussion. I just want a short and sweet line. Any esh welcome.
Sometimes I think addicts use social occasions to put on a front to the friends & family that don't know or realize how bad their habits are. And recruit allies in case things get even worse for them. That's what's going on here. The addict who drinks everyone under the table at these occasions well talks crap including trying to make everyone else look bad. He's done such a good job that the host really just thinks he's just having a good time and doesn't cut them or anyone else off.
I wouldn't let yourself be used as a tool for the addict. Work is sticky and unfortunately this is why many places have dating co worker prohibitions. But outside of work I wouldn't be so quick to tip toe around people & issues.
Good Luck