Thanks to all for such great and helpful responses. I agree that avoiding places like bars is so crucial. I also appreciate everyone's insights on what they do when they don't want to drink but it's the focal point of the evening. And such as was said, right now I do associate "social engagements" with "alcohol." I used to scan the room for the closest bar when I walked in. If I can break that connection between the two, I believe I am set, as I can really have fun just about anywhere (and where there isn't fun to be had I can often tell myself the event is a learning experience). It would be nice to listen the music and HEAR the lyrics; to conversate and not worry about it turning into a drunken fight/ cry fest; be able to go out and know if I fall down, it's legitimately because of my high heels, and not me stumbling in them. To REMEMBER the night at the end of it! God, how many nights have I lost to black outs?
That almost seems like a dream.