Sad thing is ... I think your right. I'm not sure I want him anymore. The past few weeks he took so much from me from us. When he was drinking I wished I could say that one thing that would make him go Damn and stop. I know I couldn't but I wished. Now I'm hoping He will say that one thing That will make me feel loved and give me hope but I don't think he can. Can I live for the rest of my life like this?? He can go do whatever he wants,come here to crash, put us in a hole and it just be ok?? I'm not ok. I'm Not ok at all.
I just want lay in his arms and feel safe and like everything's going to be ok, but I don't think it is anymore. Will that change? Am I giving up to fast, it'd Bern a year and half which most of it he's been sober. He has tried hard, I just don't think he's ready ... I just don't know if I can do this anymore ... I want more ...