Hi Sleepie. While I have no dorect experience of other drugs, I am aware of just how difficult and drawn out is the process of withdrawing from benzos. When I was newly sober, time seemed to go incredibly slowly, 3 weeks seemed longer than three years, so it must be even more difficult with benzo in the picture.
All I can suggest is taking it one day, one hour, one minute at a time. It WILL pass and it WILL be worth the effort. As a detox nurse explained to a woman I was working with who was withdrawing from benzos," if you are still taking the same amounts in two months time, everything will be the same, nothing will have got better, this drug is not working to make you better."
In early days I found the fellowship of AA very helpful, though, without the program, it was not sufficient to keep me sober.
You haven't done anything to yourself to feel guilty about. You have an illness to which there is a solution. It is possible to recover completely and have a life way better than you can imagine. Hang on to that, a better life is ahead.