Thanks a lot, some excellent and very helpful responses here....as ever! I appreciate them very much.
I am finding the psychological aspects of abstinence to be fascinating - the subtly and sophistication of the messages that come from within our own psyches to lead us back towards alcohol. Don't get me wrong; I sincerely wish I never had to discover this fascinating experience - but here I am, so might as well take an interest! :-)
I am starting to see how concerted the efforts must be to deal with those beguiling and at times highly convincing messages about my ability to drink without consequence. I think that the hardest thing to accept is that part of my own personality is treating me so horribly. I have accepted it as fact - but I am still in the process of really owning it as the truth - hope that makes some sense!!! :-)
CC