Thank you all for your nice thoughts. There really is no one in my life to say nice things to me, except my kids, and they have to! I also don't ask anyone, either. I keep everything inside. People who know me would be shocked by what I have said.
No haircut for me- I have hard to control frizzy hair. I keep it long and all one length and just pull it back in a clippie. That is what works best for me. Maybe I will get new contacts. I wear my glasses all the time,as the contacts I have are, well, old.
I well know what I SHOULD do- eat right, get more exercise, lose weight, etc. It is the doing it I have trouble with.
Minx- thank you. Could a domestic violence shelter be called even if there is no violence?? (thankfully that is not a problem here-1 good thing)
Ann- you are right. My counselor is really an addictions counselor who works with social services. Maybe she could direct me some place.
Splendra- beating myself up is something I do very well. When I feel good about myself, I don't do it, but when I'm down, well, I give myself serious inner bruises.
Cynay- that is a sucky thing to happen. Kudos to you for taking care of yourself. That kind of attitude is exactly what I need.
Pmaslan- I do need to breathe . Hopefully, the counselor will be able to figuratively knock some "give a damn" back into me (stealing from another poster)
CW- thank you also for your kind words.
I do feel better for having posted about my secret thoughts. I won't be on much more today, as I have to work at my crappy job tonight.
Good things about me- I am smart(I can really kick butt at trivia games) I am kind. I am not judgemental(which I think p's me off, as I am judged so often)
Again, thank you all. hopefully, in the future I will be able to make more sense. I'm still freaked in the head.