You are an inspiration. I can see your engineers rationality peering through every ounce of your recovery. A tip of the hat to you. As to the emotion and marital side, I challenge you with this: how can you ever undo the past? Once you fully reconcile this, I believe you will not only realize but believe within your gut that only your future deeds, actions and thoughts matter. Your past will serve as your guide - only where you never want to be again. Anger, hatred, resentment against coworkers, your wife, God, the world.....those emotions will always creep in. I try to measure myself now on how quickly I recover from those thoughts and embrace that they do nothing for my recovery. And if for one second I suspend my ego and posit that I can't control others, just myself, it disappates my emotions.