sdp...
I am so sorry that life is difficult for you right now, sounds like it has been for awhile really. Contacting your counselor is probably the best thing you can do for yourself at this time. I don't know if you go to Alanon or not but that is also another good resource for you. I have felt similiar to the way you feel before, I know how lonely and unbearable it can be. Take some time to relax, enjoy your children and fill your lungs with fresh air....breathe....
Love, Patty