The forum etiquette thing doesn't bother me at all
I haven't looked over the list of traits in a long time, since I found SR probably (O, Happy Day).
I include in my recovery an identification with the ACOA experience, the ACON experience (adult children of narcissists), and codependence (for which there is, yes, CODA, Codependence Anonymous). That's a laundry list and I use those acronyms as shorthand for a whole experience / an approach to my story and recovery rather than a list of diagnoses / keywords to google to find people dealing with the same things (SR is my ACOA fam, whom I value very highly). I'm not explaining it easily yet, it's multi faceted, I'm still figuring it out myself. But the sense of urgency I first felt in Figuring It All Out is settling down.
I'm really glad you prompted me to look the list over again. I developed most of the traits in the last few years, as an adult (I'm in my early thirties), when my mom became an alcoholic/pill abuser.
Codependence, ACOA, ACON... whatever tools we develop to deal with the dysfunctional, addicted, unstable, toxic people in our lives, tools honed on the battlefield by children are not well-designed or meant to be used long-term. They might get the job done for a while but they will break and injure the user and are ugly themselves. I'm rambling!
I never thought of myself as someone who couldn't have fun but it's true I think, I'm really constrained! My "fun" is often being a hanger-onner of other peoples' fun. I constantly judge myself, wonder what a whole host of people would say with how I am spending my time... I have literally been using coloring books (elaborate ones for grown ups
) lately as a way to give myself permission to just be slightly creative without beating myself up.