Lost in life
It has been awhile since I have posted here. I thought I had things under control, but we all know how that goes.
My boyfriend and I of almost 4 years have split up. He is a binge drinker and likes to party all weekend and stay out all night. I finally got tired of that life style. Unfortunately, we still live in the same house, but in different rooms.
Here is where things get tricky. We get along great!! We talk, go out to dinner or cook dinner at home. Which makes me think we can make things work. Am I crazy? He is so sweet when he is not drinking. Why can we make it work as friends but not in a relationship??
There is a part of me that thinks if we didn't live with his parents and had a place of our own we would do much better. But I am just kidding myself, right??
It just seems so complicated. I have spent so much time worrying about him and his feelings and problems I have lost myself along the way. So much so I almost feel afraid to live my life alone, without him. Why do I feel this way? Why do I feel afraid to live? I have never felt this way before and I don't like it. I used to be an independent person, and that is gone now. I want that person back!!