Continued.... (Part 2)....
That 3 months in 2010 was my longest period of sobriety since my latest effort in 2015. In the intervening years I had many spurts of 2 to 6 weeks, but nothing beyond that. I went to AA a handful of times but never committed to it. Just poked my head in after some bad episodes and that was it. I wasn't ready.
Things got worse. A small cocaine habit became a big one. I started to amass a collection of embarrassing memories courtesy of my drinking. Just as bad were the collection of shameful memories resulting from nights when I was drinking or using by myself.
I got kicked out of bars.
I slept with people indiscriminately.
I said obnoxious things to my in laws while drunk.
I got embarrassingly plastered at a work party.
I passed out in the lobby of my corporate housing while on a freelance job and got called into my supervisors office the next day to explain.
I lay awake in my hotel room at 6am with my heart pounding from cocaine, staring at the ceiling and hating life, a situation I often found myself in and one that resulted in me curling up in the fetal position of many hotel showers.
I snorted cocaine in the bathroom of my sister's house on Easter Sunday.
I spoiled many vacations from being too hungover everyday to enjoy them.
I gained a reputation among my co workers for doing lots of cocaine.
One day I had a wonderful thing happen in my career (shocking, given the fact that I was such a mess). What did I do to celebrate? I went out and got so drunk that the next morning I vomited all over myself in the shower. Still, I kept on drinking.