Is there such a thing as an Addictive Personality?
Or is it just a person who has not yet learned better ways of dealing with their feelings?
Long before alcohol entered my life, there was always cake and comfort eating. And a huge amount of it. Now I am not drinking, my binge eating is rampant. I am gaining a lot of weight, which hurts my confidence, which weakens my armour against alcohol.
I still can't work out - is it to obliterate feelings, or myself? Most of the time I can't even tell what the feelings are. Is sugar just another distraction from the realities of life? An escape? A habit? An addiction? I am so all or nothing in life. Am I just programmed to move from one obsession to another? Can I really learn not to use any substitute substances or activities to get through life? Is that what being sober really is?
I have been in therapy a really long time, but this is proving a tough nut to crack.