Originally Posted by
seasaw 
HOWEVER, I am finding that I can tip too far the other way - too many meetings, self-help books, hours spent on forums (
), and trips to the therapist working on Big stuff and I sink into a deeper depression because most of my week has been spent thinking about how my mom never loved me (enough) and how effed up I am because of it.
Balance, balance, balance. Therapy, therapy, therapy.
You rock for saying this. When I've gone to therapy in the past, I've started to hate the track my brain gets in. Like, all week I think, OK, how am I feeling now, and what should I say in therapy about it, and where's that list of all the stuff that's piling on in my sad head?
I have such a conflicted view of therapy. For the reasons above (plus what you all have said) and because:
- my alcoholic mother is (well, retired now, so, was) a marriage and family therapist and, not to play Blame the Parents all the live-long day, but, she's a huge reason why I need sit down and spill my guts to a professional
- when my dad died unexpectedly when I was around 19, I started to go to help with the grief, and after a few months my therapist took a leave of absence (which did cruddy things for my abandonment issues)
- I totally value the idea of the objective party who can give me new perspective, but, like seasaw said, I get stuck in all that analyzing and focusing and working on myself
- I'm also incredibly hard on myself and deep down I (irrationally) think that I should be able to fix myself
My acupuncturist, who actually used to be an addiction counselor and is a very cool guy, told me yesterday that I could just go for one visit. Like, I didn't have to think of it as signing up for the full commitment of weekly sessions and endless months of talking, talking, talking. Just one visit to check someone out and see if she fits with me. I'm chewing on the idea.
