Malcolm X once said that the insidious thing about racism was not that it made other people hate him, but that it made him hate himself. I think the same can be said of this type of emotional abuse. It makes us question ourselves, it makes us self conscious and critical of ourselves. Our greatest assets are used against us. Even after we are separated, the doubts remain. I never once was bothered by my age or the specter of menopause until it was used against me. I was compared to young, fertile women who were still "hot". I look good for my age, but now I see every line in my face, even the ones that don't exsist.
This being you married was so full of self loathing it had no where to go, so it just exploded at you. You were "imperfect" but even in your imperfection you could still manage the noble traits of kindness, loyalty, sincerity and lest we forget, sobriety. Traits Mr Cocky could never hope to gain. He was jealous. His world was made up of the lies in his head, false images of damaged women and self loathing. It all got to be too much, this self loathing and weakness only made more evident by your strenght despite the pain. Thank God you are free!
He will only do this to someone else, then another and another until he dies a broken man. Pity him.