The opposite of taking personal responsibility is putting it all on your lap. Maybe it's because he can't face what he's done to you, maybe it's because he is being manipulative, maybe it's because you stand between him and drinking, maybe it's because he's just a jerk who needs an emotional whipping post, maybe, maybe, maybe. How hard it must be to hear all those horrible things from a man you married so recently. My exabf put me on a pedestal, knocked me off, put me back up, knocked me off, and on and on. I was "the one" and the "best friend" as well. I was also the one who took the brunt of his unhappiness with himself and he treated me with more cruelty, manipulation and disrespect than I had ever experienced in my life. My best friend would never do that. I told him many times, "stop taking your life out on me!"
No matter how good the good stuff was (and I'm sure it was) it is best to face the reality that he has said and done horrible things to you, I mean, really horrible. Trust your gut here, you absolutely have been screwed--no reason to blame yourself for his bad behavior. Can you imagine what a lifetime of this would have been like?