justlike4

This is my first post, I've never done this type of thing before so apologies if it's a bit all over the place or I've missed bits out because there's a lot to all of this.

I'm an 18 year old girl, have three older brothers, my mum and dad split up when I was 14 and my dad doesn't live with us anymore.
My first childhood memory is my mum drunk. All of them pretty much are, every birthday, Christmas or just any "nice occasion" something awful happens and she ends up even more trashed than usual and gets in an embarrassing state.
Looking back my life was set out to be so different, from a normal middle class family, my mum and dad both worked, we were doing well in terms of money, went on holidays, had a big sandstone house and at one point we had three cars. But even through all that my mum was an alcoholic.
My dad lost his job, him and my mum fought, he became depressed, began drinking and smoking and were in a lot of debt. We couldn't even afford food and we had to sell the cars (it's a miricle we still have the house.) Being only 12/13 at this point going through changes in life (friends, socialising ect) I just avoided it all, went out and got drunk with my mates, I didn't come home till about 10 at night (which is ridiculous considering I was a child) but my mum and dad were too busy fighting and getting drunk to realise everything I was going through. My brothers were the same, they tended to just sit around play Xbox or go out with their friends.
Eventually my dad left us, he realised he was causing more damage than good, fast forward to now (about 5 years on) two of my brothers have moved out, got jobs and are doing well, my dad is in work again, has found another parter, got sober and can enjoy drinking in moderation. My dad can control it, my mother can't.

Now I'm 18 and my mothers been an alcoholic for 20+ years, she still holds a grudge against my dad, it's just me my brother (who is 24 now and who I am very close to) and her living at home. For a few days she can go without a drink or if we don't have money she can do it but it's as soon as pay day comes she's buying boxes wine/bottles of it. As a drunk she acts really strange and introverted, she normally sits in the living room, gets drunk and keeps out everybody's way. If I come home from work and see her sitting on the couch in silence or on her laptop straight away I can tell she's been drinking, she acts as if everything's normal and she's sober when really she's stumbling about and slurring her words.
Recently it's got worse, about two weeks ago I woke up one morning for work and heard snoring in my living room, I went in shouting "MUM!!! MUM??" And she couldn't even hear me. I had to go up and shake her till she woke and when she did I asked "why aren't you at work?" When she spoke I couldn't make out a word she was saying. She was talking complete gibberish, it was strange because she was awake, looking right at me and was speaking complete nonsense. Eventually she got up, got ready and went to work drunk. This isn't a first, she's done it in the past and lost her job twice because of it.
The main reason I'm writing this post is because last night it kicked off more than its done in years.
My boyfriend was supposed to stay over (he didn't know about my alcoholic mum until now), I came home from work, got some junk food in, bought him some beers and we had a night of ps4 and movies planned ahead. Before he arrived I got a phone call coming from my dad saying he was dropping off his car (he is getting a new one) in my driveway as a surprise (which again was supposed to be a nice occasion) so I went downstairs and explained the situation to my mum -which was my first mistake because she had been drinking - who said it was fine at the time then a few minutes later my brother tells me to go as my mums upset with it. (Awkward timing as my boyfriend just arrives and there's a full family dispute going on.) So anyway my mums going crazy because my dads "dropping of his crap and leaving the burden on us" which obviously just doesn't make any sense whatsoever because I'm getting a car given to me but she's completely in self destruct mode at this point. But we sorted it out and I said we'll leave it in the street and she was fine with it. My brother and his friend (who heard everything) had to leave for their club's training so it was only me, my mum and my boyfriend who's sitting upstairs at this point. I thought everything was fine and settled but my mum kept coming upstairs/following me around the house screaming (and I mean SCREAMING) at me, bringing everything up between my dad and the car situation she was taking her anger out on me and bringing it up even though we had just resolved everything anyway as that went on it got worse and she was getting in my face and eventually tried to hit me, I grabbed her arms and escorted her out the kitchen, then after she tried slamming the door on my face. I held the door to make sure she didn't as my boyfriend was sitting in my room and I didn't want him hearing, even though he did but I was just embarrassed. Eventually we left the house, went a walk and I explained everything to him, he was so understanding and supportive about it.

This is a turning point for me, my mum has ridiculed me enough throughout my life, hasn't been there for me and my childhood has been nothing but disappointment because of her, her drinking was a huge contribution as to why her and my dads marriage failed. Me and my brothers have done everything we can to get her to stop, we've had the most horrible and awkward conversations with her. She's been to AA meetings, we've even tried taking her bank card off of her and giving her an allowance. She is a completely different person sober, she is caring, chatty, funny, emotional and she loves us all. When she doesn't drink we can chat away about how our days have went but when she drinks I don't see her for days after and we avoid eachother... then she acts like nothing's happened. When we talk about it when she's sober she agrees and feels guilt but as soon as tomorrow comes she's got a bottle of wine at hand. Everyone has moved on from the past but her, I know she drinks because of depression, we've tried getting in touch with family again but she's so stubborn.
I've always felt guilt, embarrassed and ashamed of all this, but now I have learned it's not my fault. I have been born into this and I've tried to save my mums life but it's so difficult when she isn't willing to help herself.

Is anyone going through something similar and can suggest anything? I've ran out of ideas and it's draining us all.