I think I am getting past the denial/self-deception slowly but surely. My AV is wicked, convincing and selfish. It knows exactly what to say to get what it wants.
I have actually thought about looking at 12-step methods - you know, just poking around. I am a non-religious person and I do not subscribe to the disease theory of alcoholism, but there may be a lot of wisdom I can glean from 12-step methods. The thing is that I really felt good working on SMART, but because I tend to go full force in everything I do, I get overwhelmed quickly.
There is a SMART meeting tomorrow and I am thinking about actually attending. Actually a big step for me - going in person.