Hi all,
Well it is the start of day eleven for me. I am now two days into double digits. Is someone had told me this eleven days ago, I would have either laughed openly in their face or hurled on them. Considering how I was feeling at the time, I would have to say it would be the latter.
Before I tell you where I am today, I am just going to summarise the vitamin schedule I am taking as I believe that it has played a huge role in getting me this far with as minimal discomfort as was possible.
1 x B12 vitamin tablet, morning and evening
1 x Milkthistle tablet, morning and evening
1 x Liver revitalisation tablet, morning and evening
1 x Multivitamin tablet, morning only
All these tablets are taken just before I eat. Apparently you are not supposed to take them on an empty stomach.
I try to eat fruit, although I am not a fruit fan. I eat apples and grapes. I am going to add bananas to this as per an earlier posters suggestion.
So where do I find myself this morning.
Physically I am tired. I took the beta-sleep an hour before I wanted to sleep. Two hours later I was still awake. I did manage to get about five hours uninterrupted sleep in. I awoke before the alarm clock again. I cannot comment whether the beta-sleep worked or not. I will skip it tonight and see if I have the insomnia. If I do, then I know that the tablet helps. I am a bit wary of getting any prescription drugs as I feel I might just swap one addiction for the next. The only WD symptoms I am left with are the headaches, the shaking hands, the burning sensation under my skin down the side of my face and the insomnia. Each one of these symptoms is slowly releasing their grip on me and lessening day by day. I also find that I have a slight bounce to my step now. This is very pleasing to me. It is like a "go and get it" energy.
Mentally. Well this is the one facet of me that I feel has come along in leaps and bounds. I think along with the physical facet, this one heals quite quickly. Initially, you notice the physical side more, but slowly your brain makes itself known. I find that my reasoning is becoming clearer and sharper. I don't always like what it tells me and I need to learn how to deal with it sober. I am not always sure whether it is my own mind or the AV playing tricks. I suspect though, that it is my own mind trying to tell me things that I have suppressed with drink. Logic returns with its own deadly force. Clarity, concentration and comprehension grow in leaps and bounds. I have not been much a people person the last few years, especially with the drink, but I am finding that I enjoy conversing with my colleagues. It need not always be about work. It might be about what they are brewing, their kids sports events or the golf game that they plan on playing that afternoon. So many things out there that I merely just took for granted while drinking.
That leaves the emotional state of today. I am not as melancholy as the last few days. This is a welcome reprise for me as I need to find a strategy to deal with those feelings. I have received some great suggestions for books and I have bought all of them. Most of them motivational, some self help. I appreciate this as I am not one that can really converse with anyone about my problems unless they are close to me. I am looking forward to reading some of these books over the weekend, hopefully I can find something in them that will give my match to strike. I can only reiterate what I have said earlier. As you move along the path of your sobriety, your emotions are going to return. They are going to be much more intense than when we were drinking. It is our duty to ourselves to face these emotions sober and to deal with them in a sober manner.
Well it is Friday. I do have to make it through this work day to get to the weekend. I am looking forward to the weekend. I have some things to do around the house. I reckon if I finish them off tomorrow, I can have a lazy Sunday.
As an aside, I managed to go to a restaurant the other night for dinner. I phoned ahead and asked them if they had NA beer which they confirmed that they did. What a strange way of dealing with things - phone ahead to see if you have NA beer otherwise I cannot come to your establishment. I suppose that it is the paranoia of the early days of recovery.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB