Guilt
I'm having minor issues with guilt over past relationships. I think it's because I have been steadily becoming more unhappy with my own. My significant other has done so much for me and my daughter, and there is this growing distance between us because of my evolution in sobriety. He drinks everyday and has NO libido or emotions because of it. It hurts me that I'm not receiving attention or love, physically and emotionally. I stalk exes on Facebook and become envious of their new lives with new girlfriends, wives, whatever. Most of them, I feel guilt. I trashed their hearts and their lives because I dated them during active alcoholism/addiction. I lied, cheated, verbally abused these poor men. They are all happy and content in their pictures while I sit here in my not so happy situation and watch. I had to get this off my chest. I'm starting to feel restless in this relationship and I believe this is something I need to fix in ME. When I'm unhappy, I leave. I move, I start a new relationship...whatever it is the same thing every time. I just want some excitement and attention when I come home. I come home to a passed out snoring mess that can't even wash himself after a long days work. This was good for me when I was actively drinking. I found someone worse than me. God help me.
Jennifer