I don't think I ever drank because I hated myself, but I have definitely hated myself for drinking. The morning after (or sometimes when I went to bed after a session) 'WHY did I do that? WHY?!' when I have to get up for work and having told myself that I wasn't going to drink. This was too common an occurence. I have drunk deliberately when I've been depressed though and that may be caused by some kind of self-loathing, I don't really know. I never got my depression properly diagnosed but I know for sure that drinking didn't help those feelings. I need to make sure I'm ready for when the black dog comes to visit next time - if he does!
Best Wishes
C