Hi everyone!
Just wanted to give an update. I've decided to completely detach myself from my AH. Although we have been seperated for months now, I was still very much in contact with him and saw him every week because of the kids. I also thought giving him encouragement would help. He continued to say he was working on his sobriety and blah blah blah but I knew not to hold my breath. Anyway, long story short, his mother asked me to test him and he admitted instead that he was using which wasn't surprising at all. The problem was that he kept stalling and while he was stalling he was nodding off in front of me and my kids. They were talking to him and he was nodding and that pretty much infuriated me . I decided in that moment that my kids are better off not seeing their father at all if this is what they have to deal with. This is second time this has happened and it's unacceptable. I might be wrong for keeping him from his kids but they deserve better than this. Being sober for one week and then using the next isn't recovery. Anyway, I think I have gotten easy of the topic of the thread. Giving encouragement is great if the person really wants to change but in my case, I'm wasting my time. I don't think I had an agenda because honestly, I wasnt trying to save our marriage. I already have peace in my home because he isn't there. Communicating with him is taking away from my personal peace even from afar and I cannot have that..... Have a great day everyone!!!!