Red, do you have a counselor? Are you attending any kind of Al-
Anon? What are you doing for yourself? Part of all this is choosing to look at our old ways of acting and choosing new behaviors, new methods of dealing with the chaos in our dysfunctional relationships. If you want life to be different, if you really want to know why, you can't let the anxiety rule your life. Counseling will help with that... a lot.