Just ridiculous.
Hi everyone!
I'm doing okay, STILL waiting to hear on jobs.....tomorrow I'm going to start applying for nanny positions, I figure I raised 7 kids pretty well and am a nurse, I feel pretty qualified to be a nanny for now!
Yesterday I got my hair cut and styled, got dressed up and went out to have a drink with my best friend here, who I haven't seen in about a year (she is a single mom with a deadbeat ex and she has to work 3 jobs) anyhow, I was looking pretty good.....had tight jeans on, thigh high black boots, a nice top and jewelry. And my hair was freshly done nicely.
I was on my way out the door at 10pm and literally almost physically ran into AH, he came over unannounced to drop off some money to my daughter.
He looked at me and wanted to know where I was going. I just said "out."
And he stood there and just glared at me while I walked to my car and got in and drove away.
Then I get these texts....-"say hello to HIM for me" "we are so done" "we are never getting back together" and on and on.....
REALLY? I finally got to get out of the house and go out with a friend??!!
Which normally would happen maybe 3-4 times a year anyhow?
And all of a sudden he's done with me. LOL. Cause he thinks I'm going out with a man.....
I can only shake my head and roll my eyes.
HE is the one who is out partying 5-6 nights a week, HE is the one who has constant everyday calls to and from a woman named Kendra (for months), and texts from her asking if he can call her at 10pm and can he meet for lunch tomorrow. And he's commenting on her FB page under a birthday pic of her father "Awesome dads raise awesome daughters <3"
He's the one who has Facebook messages to several of his young friends (all girls) trash talking me and boo hoo-ing about me to them, telling them all how beautiful they are, how he's glad they are in his life, how they help him get through....... (insert vomit here)
Yes, I did look through his phone after he came home a couple weeks ago and passed out, and yep, through his phone I broke into his Facebook, changed his FB password to "liar2015" and read all of his business.
Not a great thing to do but I am GLAD I did.
Because I am soooooooooooooooooooooo done with him and this mess.
Reading those things were the nails in the coffin of our flat lining marriage.
It's even more ridiculous because a few days before I read all of those things, he came home on a Sunday morning after being out all Saturday night (had no idea where he was or with whom, of course) and he came home CRYING. Got all huggy and lovey dovey and was crying, down on his knees, begging me to give him one last chance. Telling me all of these pretty words and sickenling sweet CRAP.
WHY do that all the while doing all of the other with the other woman/girls???????????
I just can't get over the audacity he had to go off on me for going out, while he's been doing that for YEARS!
So the last thing I texted him was "Don't get mad when I pull a you on YOU."
And then he texted me back "we have nothing more to say to each other other than making arrangements"
Is it weird that I'm not heartbroken really at all?
That I feel immune to feeling anything other than disgust towards him?
When he was crying and on his knees begging me for one more chance (after 10 years of "one more chances") I just felt nothing, like a stone. At one point I almost started laughing.
He is NEVER going to change, he is NEVER going to be healthfully sober, he is NEVER going to be able to be trusted, and he is NEVER going to be without a girl on the side. This is girl number 8 that I know of over a 10 year period.....
(not to mention all of his girl "friends") And yes, he would swear on his grandmothers grave that they have all "just been friends." Daily calls, hanging out together, partying together, complaining with sobs stories about your wife and marriage trouble to each girl.......MAYBE if you would have spent your time with your WIFE and working on improving your marriage instead of running to other women, you wouldn't have to be crying and on your knees begging.
Sigh....I'm so over all of this, just want to be divorced and be done with all of this.
It's pure insanity.