I guess i'm letting the anxiety get the better of me. DrunkenDonut - what worried me is that i've made so many mistakes over and over again, and i guess I got scared that it's too late, like the damage was irreparable. Looking back in hindsight, I see that's not true.
I mean, i've gone to AA meetings where i've heard people that have gone thru hell, and still got to be and stayed sober, and they are wonderful people.
I guess last night I felt like the world's worst alcoholic. I'm working on getting out of that all or nothing thinking.