I hope this helps, I read this the other day and it really hit home.
Those Old Time Feelings
I still have bad days. But that's okay. I used to have bad years.
--Anonymous
Sometimes the old feelings creep back in. We may feel fearful, ashamed and hopeless. We may feel not good enough, unlovable, victimized, helpless and resentful about it all. This is codependency, a condition some describe as soul sickness.
Many of us felt this way when we began recovery. Sometimes we slip back into these feelings after we've begun recovery. Sometimes there's a reason. An event may trigger these reactions, such as ending a relationship, stress, or problems on the job, at home or in friendships. Times of change can trigger these reactions. So can physical illness.
Sometimes these feelings return for no reason.
A return to the old feelings doesn't mean were back to square one in our recovery. They do not mean we've failed at recovery. They do not mean were in for a long, painful session of feeling badly. They just are there.
The solution is the same: practicing the basics. Some of the basics are loving and trusting our self, detachment, dealing with feelings, giving and receiving support in the recovery community, using our affirmations and having fun.
Another basic is working the Steps. Often, working the Steps is how we become enabled and empowered to practice the other basics, such as detachment and self-love.
If the old feelings come back, know for certain there is a way out that will work.
Today, if I find myself in the dark pit of codependency, I will work a Step to help myself climb out.