Tang, you don't have to have a low bottom to realize what alcohol is capable of doing to you. Mine wasn't particularly low. I'm kind of glad Para posted inside your thread because it brought you out of the way you were thinking. You're right, "Alcohol is not worth dying over".
Para, somehow you have to make a big change and stop. You can't stop because you are not doing anything different. Do something different, like join a club, or volunteer somewhere, or do AA if it will help.