Hi again
Thank you all for taking the time to reply, I found some really good points here. I don't think separation would work for us, not from his prospective. Since we did it once and I threatened couple of times to leave, I think he'd perceive it as punishment and/or abandonment. Unlike me, he has very little support network; he has almost no family and most of the people who surrounded him were drinking buddies. This means most of the time he's communicating with me alone (beyond small talk I mean). I would love for him to get there and try to have more people in his life (with or without similar issues) but he's rather introvert and have a very hard time connecting with people. This excludes not only AA but online communities as well, at least for now.
I have found wise and useful inputs in your posts. I believe we'll try to use most of the things you suggested (aside from leaving each other) I have already considered couple therapy on my own, but thought that perhaps is too soon and would interfere with his other process of working on himself. Btw it's great to see so many of you try to address their couple issues, instead of just fighting or leaving. It brings me hope
I will also check the books cookiesncream recommended for sure and I hope the summer will bring him opportunities to "obsess" indeed in something healthier, like any kind of physical activity. And thank you for the direction lillamy - I didn't even know this was such a major issue that it had a sub-forum itself. I also appreciate the boundery suggestion from happybeingme, this is something I need to give a lot of thought. I guess it's rather hard for me to react in the way you suggested (though I realize it's the best thing to do) as in some ways, I still see it as abandonment. I know is incorrect, yet I can't help but relate to these moments of "bad mood" because sometimes I get them myself (though they're mostly depressive) and I always feel that asserting myself in these situations would be like I say - it's your problem, deal with it and don't involve me. I guess it's a delicate matter and requires more emotional education that i have right now.
Thank you once again, I'l; certainly keep reading here!