I get what you're saying. And you're right--it's foolish not to think about what might happen and to plan for it--ESPECIALLY when you are dealing with abuse.
I think where it becomes future-tripping is when that's where you LIVE. You get so focused on juggling all the possible what-ifs that you lose sight of what's in front of you, NOW, that you need to deal with.
And really, it's not viable to live that way indefinitely. Survival mode is one thing, but planning to continue doing this for the rest of your life is another.
One other thing--in spite of the fact that his actions can have consequences for you and the kids, he is NOT an extension of you. You are your own person, and so is he. You aren't siamese twins who can't be separated.
Hugs,