Hi, welcome to SR
I hope you don't mind if I take a stab at this from a different direction. Take what you can, leave the rest.
I drank my way through an abusive relationship. I couldn't deal with being told that everything about me was wrong. In your first post, you mentioned how she dressed.
People want to feel accepted. Said the first 5 years of your relationship were great. In the beginning of a relationship people try to please people. It actually could be that you only wanted to see her for who you wanted to see her for. She starts to dress differently, you don't like it. I did hear where you would yell, and scream at her. Be controlling, your own words.
I did hear that you have a background also. That you didn't want to repeat yours.
I have a question for you. Do you want her to be the person you want her to be, or the person that she is (forget about the alcohol here).
(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
amy