Originally Posted by
LexieCat 
I think what you're describing is a form of "survivor's guilt." Why him? Why not you?
Who knows, maybe there is no "why." What I do know is that it's bad enough when tragedy or misfortune strikes one person, and the suffering of the victim isn't eased by someone else's suffering. Your unhappiness doesn't do a thing to alleviate his.
Your life is a gift--enjoy it and appreciate it. Sooner or later you'll have misfortunes of your own--maybe not exactly the same kind, but something that makes you unhappy for a while. Enjoy life when it's good.
Thank you. Yes, perhaps there's no "why", no answer to the question. Survivor's guilt sounds accurate, "why him", when he was such a superstar when he was younger. Such a waste of a talented person. I agree that his situation isn't fixed by me not living my life as I desire. I have compassion for him struggling with things he didn't choose, and just wish he could come along with me for some of the enjoyable things in life. Perhaps down the road!
Thanks for your words. I know these things, but helps to hear them from someone else! Have a great day...