It is just so amazingly difficult to realize that I may need to say good bye to someone I love in order to do what's best for me. My other issue is that I do understand it is a disease but at some point there is a choice the A has to make... get help to stop hurting the one's you love, or remain in denial and lose everything. Because of that, I feel as though I am competeing for her love, and unfortunately losing to the alcohol.
i dont know if you have read any of my posts,but i was in a very similar situation. what made mine even more difficult for me was mine could down close or at a twelve pack of beer a nite,and still function. no slurring of words,falling etc. in the beginning,i saw it was a problem but chose to try and live with it because he was functional in so many ways. but over time,i realized that once we finally did start to get out of the house and he got comfortable with me,he could be pretty ****** out. and that wasnt even excessive,but enough to make me uncomfortable. i also started to notice the constant negativity and complaining. and then how even though he seemed functionable, he almost seemed brain damaged,because of some simple things he couldnt do or needed help with or did with much more trouble than the average person. i also saw that there were some things with him morally,that i didnt like but put them off to being "open minded". in coming here, i saw where many a's arent morally sound. on hindsight now, i think over the years he has substituted one addiction for another,and now he feels the beer is no big deal. i also, frankly got tired of being the one to drive all the time cuz i worried about him doing it. at one point, he told me he didnt think it was right that him not drinking should be a condition of our relationship. and its funny because i never said it that way. ever.
this relationship has messed me up so bad, i cant begin to tell you. when i was in it, and now that i left.
im so glad you wrote and i could respond, because as im typing im feeling alittle better.........if she wont get help, get out. and if you want or need to chat feel free to contact me.