Yes, she could be setting herself up for a relapse with her resentments, but even though nothing you did CAUSED her to drink, that doesn't mean that there might not be some validity in her feeling like you weren't very attentive. I'm not suggesting for a second that she has any right to blame you for her drinking, just that you might have your own issues in the marriage to address (or not--you don't have to become someone you aren't).
I left my first husband, who was sober for a year before we got married. He was a "good husband" and a "good father". Seriously, by any objective measure he was terrific. He's still terrific and still a good friend of mine.
I did, however, come to feel that I didn't belong in that marriage, and a lot of it did come down to my feeling like I wasn't being heard. I didn't feel like he was especially proud of my achievements at work, or that he paid enough attention to give me a gift I would treasure. Small stuff in the overall scheme of things, and I felt horribly guilty when I realized I didn't want to be married to him anymore. And maybe a lot of it was selfishness on my part (though my alcoholic drinking didn't really take off until after we were apart).
And I don't know that it's something he could have changed. I just know I didn't feel like I was a very important part of his life. Maybe that was romantic BS in my head, but it's how I felt.
I guess what I'm saying is that even if her resentments are hers to own and to deal with, getting sober and staying that way doesn't mean a marriage is going to work if one of the partners is unhappy (and regardless of whether the basis for that unhappiness looks or seems reasonable to anyone else).
I'm sorry you're in so much pain right now--it sounds like she is, too. I hope you're able to work through this and that she stays sober. Maybe you AREN'T the right person for her, or maybe she's not the right person for you. You sound like a really good guy--my first husband was, too. Just know that if she drinks, it won't be because you caused her pain. It will be because she hasn't done the work she needs to do to cope with life and all its difficulties sober.