Originally Posted by
ArmyOfOne 
I started weeping as I read your post. I can't win, anything I do, everything I do. Its tossed aside and something new is pointed out.
She has never admitted to the fact that she was addicted, or has never gone to an AA meeting on her own.
I am not saying I am an angel. I have made mistakes and that is why I have been in Al-Anon for the past 3 years but where is her recovery? What is she doing with her side of the street?
I have been going to alanon for a year. For a very long time (years) I have been trying to find the courage to make a decision , any decision regarding my relationship. I have been detaching , accepting and most importantly surrendering . I could not hope, scream or beg for him to be present and engaged in our relationship. He could NOT , he had a relationship with this addiction and depression. He finally made the decision , I was making great strides and once I changed our dance, I was out. I was ready to be done with living in all of that pain, the same pain you write about. Though it is very sad that all those years of me putting my everything and my sanity into the relationship it ended anyway, I feel relieved. But, you get to choose , that is the beauty of it. I would say , if you want to stay in this marriage, it will help for you to go to counseling and really surrender to what you cannot change. You cannot win against Alcoholism or drug addiction , only the sufferer can .