This. I completely agree. She wants to drink and she wants you to blame so she does not have to face herself.
I also agree about a therapist trained in addiction for yourself. And for her separately if she is willing. I would say seeing a psychiatrist who specializes in helping families with addiction is one of the most important things I could have ever done for myself in dealing with my X husband's addiction.
And there are many different support groups also. There is SMART, Alanon, Celebrate Recovery, CRAFT, all different types. Research what you think might work for you. Most importantly, find a group you click with so you have face to face support from people who truly get it.
And of course, SR is a place of great support. We are here for you!
Originally Posted by
Duckygirl1 
So sorry you are living with this!
She is miserable sober and wants an excuse to relapse. She has not taken responsibility for her drinking yet and is still looking for someone to blame. She would drink with or without you. She would drink if you were ignoring her or had yourself surgically grafted to her side. She is a dry drunk who has only put down the bottle, but hasn't addressed the underlying causes of he drinking. It's not that you are not the right man for her. NO MAN is the right man for her because her first love is alcohol.
Do not blame yourself. Her condition is in no way your fault and you cannot fix it. Only she can do that. Your priority is to protect your children from an abusive drunk. And make no mistake, calling you names, yelling at the kids and asking them if she should move IS emotional abuse! Don't sugar coat that! She has got to get help or she will destroy your family more than she is.
Please seek help for yourself. You have to find strength. Some people here like al a non. I'm not a fan, but it may work for you. Seek a therapist who is TRAINED in substance abuse and domestic violence. Most lay counselors and pastors are not. Please keep posting and reading the ESH of the people here. (((Hugs)))