Happybeingme is right. You are not a passive observer. This is your life and marriage too. If the advice is bad you will live with the consequences or be left to pick up the mess. SMART recovery is also a non 12 step approach that involves family. There is no anonymity, no labels, no sponsors and no powerlessness. The addict is not separated into their own subculture where SO's have no place. You have every right to know who this counselor is if you suspect shady biz. They have to adhere to a set of ethical standards just like an MD.