Welcome, hopedrive! This is a great place to start. I think that it cannot be stressed and highlighted enough that alcoholism and abuse are two separate issues. I've always blamed my husband's behavior on alcoholism. And honestly, I've always thought that alcoholics automatically have to be abusers. Just like you, I realized that my husband was an alcoholic after we married. And about the abuse, I always thought that it was my fault.
Speaking of stepping on the landmines, one way you can tell that you are being targeted is that he sets up a landmine for you. It is "damned if you do, damned if you do not" situation, and sooner or later, there is always an explosion. You can walk on the eggshells as much as you want. If he wants to yell and scream, he will.
I've learned on here not to engage and operate in silence and be super careful. I can say that some of these people on here and their advice probably saved my life. They certainly brought my brains back.