It takes time, Paula, but it sounds like you're on your way. It really isn't about how much he loves you. If it was, none of us would be here! He hates himself, he resents your recovery, which is a threat to his addiction. He projects his feelings about himself onto you, and hey, that's a-holery. You can say I'm done hearing that crap, and detach, disengage, go no contact, whatever preserves your peace of mind and protects your recovery.
We're here for you, regardless. Much love to you!