Welcome dear one, I'm sorry you are going through this. But I'm glad that you found us.
I have nothing really to add to the already stellar advice you've been given so so far. Keep reading, keep your chin up. It's not easy, but try to remember that A's come from very sick families most times. His mothers reaction is just a form of denial. My xabf's mom is the leader of the pack in that regards. It frustrating because the problems are so obvious. None of this is your fault and NOTHING that they say has any validation. You will eventually start to call all of their nonsensical talk quacking. Go to the "quackers" thread and "things a normie wouldn't know". They are good for a quick glance at how their minds work. And may even make you smile a bit. You sound like you could do with a giggle.
Don't feel silly to ask any questions or share any thoughts. We've all been there in some form. A's are all individual, but hardly original. We know how these dogs hunt. Your first task of course is to keep you and your little muffins safe. Get to know the DV in your area. Start researching lawyers and socking away a bit of money. I suggest creating a "jump bag" in case you and the boys have to leave fast. Its like the bag that you pack when you're pregnant to take to the hospital, only it for hitting the road. It has essentials like Id, cash, toiletries, clothes etc. you can keep it at a friends house or hidden In your car.
(((Hugs))) you're in our prayers