Hey everyone!
I joined SR back in October when I was bout 3 months into my sobriety journey... My life was changing for the better, I was genuinely happy, and [unfortunately] I had developed a sense of invincibility in terms of relapsing.
Well, I was wrong...
Around the holidays, I went out to dinner to catch up with a few friends [which I hadn't done for a while so as to avoid "tempting" situations.] At that dinner, I had a mixed drink and was able to keep it at just that one. Although I drank, I didn't consider it a "relapse" because I was able to keep it in check.
Fast-forward to now, I've fallen completely off the wagon and the past few months have been a combination of drunken nights [complete with too many blackouts to count] and a total emotional rollercoaster.
Last night was my last drink and it was a night of sheer craziness. I drank by myself and ended my night by cussing out my ex who I had recently reconnected with [although that was the LAST thing I needed to do] and just putting myself back in yet another regretful situation as a result of my inability to control or handle alcohol.
So... Today was my first full day sober. Tomorrow I'm getting back into the gym and back to eating healthily and focusing on my mental and spiritual wellbeing. Also re-quitting cigarettes.
This is not going to be easy... Quitting smoking in itself has proven to be next to impossible, and doing so while not drinking and implementing all the other positive changes I need to make is going to make for a tough - but necessary - journey.
My last time around I quit smoking, drinking, and weed within about a week of each other [cold turkey] so I know I can do it but I know that alcoholism is a progressive disease and I don't doubt for one second that going at it this time is going to be much more difficult for me than the last time. Not to mention last time I was in a different place mentally where I actually WANTED to quit, whereas this time around it's moreso a matter of me biting the bullet and accepting that I NEED to quit.
I've been M.I.A around here but I could never forget the immense support I got here on SR before I fell off the wagon so I'm looking forward to being back and reconnecting with all of you so that I can get through this and be of help to anyone who needs it.
So...
Here's to day one. In 5 hours I will have officially made that milestone.
Bri