Originally Posted by Rosalba

I've been in and out of therapy for most of my adult life, and I've found several times over that when I was really starting to feel better, it was wreaking havoc with some of my relationships/friendships - and these were just generically unhealthy people, not addicts or alcoholics.

It's one of those things which professionals sometimes warn you about if you go into counselling, and although Alanon ISN'T counselling as such - if you do follow the program it's just as beneficial, if not more so.

People get used to interacting with us in a certain way, and if we no longer come up with the goods they will get resentful and lose interest. While us being healthier will open up the doors to the other person to do likewise - most people don't. As we get healthier, the relationship will either improve or it will end. Sometimes, sadly, this means that people we're very fond of will get up and leave - but if knowingly enabling someone else's addiction, fighting, being a martyr... all the rest... is a condition of being in a relationship with that person, then it's possibly not a relationship we want to be in.

And while we're involved in an unhealthy relationship, it precludes any possibility of finding one which will be better for us.

In a perverse way, it's actually affirming when we're rejected by someone who needs us to be unhealthy, even if it's quite painful at the time. So, yes, you can be relieved!

(((HUGS)))