You have to stop entertaining the idea you can moderate and take drinking off the table as an option. My AV used to try the "it's only going to be a drink, maybe 2" all the time. You have to call it out on its lies, "remember what happened last time I thought I could drink just 1 or 2 glasses of wine? It wasn't just two glasses of wine".
I eventually had to reach the conclusion I could not drink safely and that drinking just put me back in the same vicious cycle. I didn't want to be in that cycle any more since I knew if I continued, it was just a matter of time until health problems started to occur due to alcohol. You also need to reach that conclusion, but none of us can do that for you.
Have you considered other options like outpatient or inpatient?