Goodness, our stories could be the same. I would vow the morning after a binge that I would, never drink again, then by 4:00 I would be already thinking about how I could moderate. I couldn't imagine my life without alcohol. How could I bear the stress ? The anxiety ? The strife ? The fun ? The sex ? Without my magic elixir.
I tried for decades to make it fit. I'm 45 and believe me when I tell you, I tried everything.
Until I finally realized, alcohol was not my "magic elixir" at all. It was what what keeping me exactly where I was, anxious, depressed, fat, sad, and miserable all but maybe an hour a day when I would get to that place where the switch would turn off in my head.
Now, three months later, (I've been sober for 5 months and 8 months prior) I have finally come to terms that alcohol has no place in my future. Because if i we're to continue drinking at the pace I was, I wouldn't have one.
In the past, I always left the escape hatch open . Thinking maybe someday I could make it fit in. That imevitably led to me going back to the bottle.
This time is different. Alcohol frightens me now. I realize that it's a poison not fit for human consumption. And I know that I could never live up to my potential this lifetime, if I continue to drink.
I hope you can find away to step away too. Never stop trying. Never stop quitting.
Your life awaits.
