PTSD In a grand way
I call myself 30. I use this name because it was my badge number. This is the badge I was wearing the night I was shot and I shot and killed my attacker.
I was a Police Officer in a suburb of Detroit. A 20 year old young man had decided to end his life with the assistance of the Police. He had been in pain for sometime and had had a troubled youth.
At 2:36 am on 12-1-1991 we met. He saw me in my police car and imediately accellerated his car to draw my attention to it. A chase ensued, allthough not your typical "High Speed Chase". This was more like a "Medium Speed Chase" not getting over 50 mph.
When other officers and I got this young man stoppped he got out of his car with a hand gun and started shooting. His first target was my "Back Up" officer. This officer recieved 2 wounds that were not fatal, allthough they would nearly claim his life 2 weeks later from blood clots.
The young man then turned his attention to me. The reason is that when he shot my back up, I fired at him. The rounds I fired struck him and he turned towards me and began firing. He fired at me 3 times then fell to the ground. I would learn later that the rounds I had fired at him had fataly wounded him.
This was sort of the coup de gra of my PTSD. This got me started down a path that was formed at an early age. I had no idea that the first stage of PTSD was started when I was about 5. Its something that I have burned in my memory as if it were yesterday. I am now 51 yeas old, so it, been ther for a long time.
Vacation 1959. driving across Minnesota towards Montana. Near a small town on the Highway. A car crash that was maybe minutes old. At least 3 bodies on the ground and 1 had been decapitated. Great starting place for a 5 year old kid to acquire PTSD.
Fast forward to 1974. In the Air Force. Coming in the front gate at the base I was stationed at. Approximately 11:00 pm. I hear the sound of a B-52 Bomber straining to take flight. I look to watch. I turn my head just in time to see the big plane plunge back to earth and explode. Then later that night I was involved with the recovery of the crashed plane. It was just another piece in the Puzzle call PTSD.
In November of 1976 I became a Policeman. Now this was never really my lifes ambition. It, to me, was a job and I had a wife and young daughter to support. As my career progressed I saw some of the most awful things that humanity can do to itself. I was witness to a man Kill himself rather than testify in court angainst his son. I have seen murder, and accidental death. I have seen peoples lives changed in an absolute instant.
I must also say that I have seen some of the most touching things that mankind can do. Delivering a Baby is something that was amazing. Saving the life of an Infant who is choking on his own mucus, and seeing him 2 years later playing with his brother and sister. Seeing a total stranger comfort a young girl who had been hit by a car.
I need to also mention that I am a recovered alcholic. Last drink 11-11-1981.
I have recently lost my brother. He was also a policeman. We were our support system. He was one of the reasons I survived PTSD. We could talk cop to one another. Now since he has gone I have to vent somewhere. I picked here. I have my reasons. He was the third sibling I have lost. I lost my infant sister in the late 60s and a stepbrother in the early 90s. So I am here to vent, I think I deserve it.
30