Ive been trying to figure out exactly what *I* want.
YES!
Alanon can help you figure that out. What are YOU good at? What makes YOU happy?
Addicts just suck up all the attention of those around them, and the people closest to them can really lose their souls to this disease. I hope you STOP care taking / enabling for him. He can't drive because HE messed up. HE needs to figure out his own rides, and ways to pay the consequenses of his drinking on his own. You are making it easy for him, so there is no reason to get better.
My heart goes out to you - keep going to the gym, please go to Alanon (it doesn't matter what he thinks about that) and please take care of YOU first! (((HUGS)))